Something they do not tell you when you move abroad–although, you’d be smart to anticipate it–is that you might feel a little lonely. Far away from family and friends, living abroad requires you to build community anew, a daunting task.
As this year’s only Mitchell Scholar at University College Dublin, I lived south of the city center, away from the other scholars. My degree, an MSc in Digital Policy, was offered virtually and online, making it hard to meet people within my program. As a result, I spent many of my days and nights solo, occupying myself with work and FaceTime calls to friends and family back home.
Unsatisfied with my routine, I eventually began to venture into the city. Hoping to make new friends, I took classes in Pilates, dance, and guitar. I made weekly pilgrimages to new coffee shops for my usual, an iced americano. On occasion, I’d meet a kind stranger whose conversation would fuel me for the rest of the day. Once I met a mother whose daughter was working abroad in Korea–she made me miss my mom.
This process–of loneliness and discovery–was new to me. Before moving to Ireland, I lived at university, an environment where community is created for you and activities to occupy your time are abundant. But isolation pushed me to discover both myself and Dublin, teaching me to appreciate what was around me and to understand what truly makes me happy. I began to search for Dublin’s beauty in nooks and crannies across the city. I rediscovered my love of reading and spending time outdoors, with friends. In the absence of the love you are used to, you learn to see it everywhere, and value it more.
To commemorate my time there, I want to share some of my favorite bits of Dublin. I will deeply miss these places and hope to return one day.
- Blackrock Market
On Saturdays (or really any day where the sun was out) you’d likely find me in Blackrock, a quaint seaside town south of Dublin’s city center. Next to the DART station, you can sit by the sea with a view of the Poolbeg Chimneys, Howth, and Dún Laoghaire, depending on which way you look. Below your feet, mossy stones covered in what look like mussel shells and sand dollars descend into the water. I would often come here to admire the coast’s beauty and enjoy the sound of lapping water. When the tide was low, people would walk along the sand, throwing frisbees for their dogs. If it was high, they might take a dip in the bay with their friends.
Walking back into the neighborhood, you could find Blackrock Market tucked past an alleyway on the main street. Here you can find any number of hand-made, knitted goods; vintage clothes; Korean foods; and essential oils. But my favorite shop was a small stand filled to the brim with antiques–books, records, knick knacks, and the like. There, I found a 1922 edition of a book called Ireland and the Making of Britain by Benedict Fitzpatrick. After buying it and a few other books for friends, the charming shop owner allowed me to select three bookmarks, each with a quote about books. My favorite:
“Books don’t require us to be conventionally good or typical. They can reflect the true oddity and wonder of being human. As with an ideal lover, their honest distinctiveness means we can be usefully weird around them.”
In other words, they make us feel seen.
2. Herbert Park Farmer’s Market
After my Saturday ventures to Blackrock, I’d visit the Herbert Park farmer’s market on Sunday. Here, you could find fresh vegetables, pastries, a woman who was very enthusiastic about chai, and a number of ethnic food stands. I liked the kimchi I bought from a man who excitedly shared that he learned the method for making kimchi from his wife. If I was hungry, I’d order the chickpea dotted queen arepa from the Venezuelan food truck, no cheese. The Greek bakery had an amazing salted caramel brownie. It was a hodgepodge of people and things.
I loved Herbert Park because, even on days with horrible weather, it was always brimming with people. Couples and families–followed by a small, trotting dachshund or curious golden retriever–spent the morning slowly, enjoying a coffee and the lush park. You’d find people playing soccer (football, really) and a small children running around the park. This was one of my favorite spots to share with friends.
3. Hodges Figgis – 2nd Floor Biography and Memoir Section
After spending a lot of time alone–and way too much time on my phone–I decided to try to pass more time reading. Luckily, Dublin is home to a number of independent book stores whose selection seems never ending. One of my favorites is Hodges Figgis, Ireland’s oldest bookshop. Located right by the bus stop I’d take to visit my friends at Trinity College, I couldn’t help but pop in every once in a while.
My favorite section in Hodges Figgis quickly became the Biography and Memoir section in the back of the second floor, past the fiction books. Although I typically love a nonfiction book about technology and society, I have recently been reading about womanhood, relationships, and love. In this section I’ve found some of my favorite works by authors like Joan Didion, Annie Ernaux, and bell hooks. Just before it, I found Sylvia Plath’s The Bell Jar in the fiction section. Each book, carefully curated and placed, offers an opportunity to learn about another person’s experiences. I’ve found books to be a nice antidote to loneliness.
4. The Quays, Dublin
Although the first three places on this list I typically frequented alone, I must admit that some of my favorite memories were still made with friends and family. Whenever I had visitors from the US, I would take them to Temple Bar (pricey, but they’re tourists!), and we would go to Quays. Small enough to feel like a true Irish pub, this bar always had live music that even my grandmother enjoyed. This was one of the first pubs I ever went into with my family when I moved to Dublin, and also one of the last I visited when my grandmother came to Ireland on her first trip to Europe. It will be a place I go to any time I am back in the city
5. A couple of kitchens across the city
Although I spent significant time alone, there was still nothing I valued more than time with the new friends I made in the city. My favorite memories with the Mitchell scholars and other friends often involved cooking and breaking bread together at their apartments. I am grateful that the time I spent alone made me learn to appreciate my friends more deeply, and I will miss them greatly. I will always be thankful that I crossed paths with these brilliant, inspiring, and caring people who helped me traverse a challenging period in my life. Plus, we made yummy food–always a benefit : )
Bye, Dublin!